In this episode, Ben and Sarah Green, busy parents of five, share how their family makes hospitality a consistent priority through intentional planning, simple meals, and a whiteboard list of people they want to get together with. They discuss the ways they seek to pass this important value on to their kids. Having joined Faith Bible Church about a year ago they also reflect on how hospitality has helped them build community here. Check out Sarah's cheeseburger soup recipe!
Jennifer Brandt 0:03
Hello and welcome back to the faith hospitality highlight. My name is Jennifer Brandt, and today I'm excited to introduce you all to Ben and Sarah Green, who are new members of FBC within this last year. Ben and Sarah are busy parents with five kids under 18, all living at home, so my desire for this episode is to learn from their experiences and how they prioritize hospitality even when life gets really busy and our plates feel full. Ben and Sarah, thank you so much for joining us today. Let's dive right in. First, I'd like to hear about your background and where you guys are from and how you came to FBC.
Ben Green 0:42
Um, we have been I've been in Spokane area, the Inland Northwest, since about 2000 I left briefly met Sarah in New York, and she married me, and we came back around 2007 so we've been in Spokane since then. We attended GCF for a number of years, and just came to FBC about a year ago, a little more than a year ago. Over the last few years, we've gotten to know more and more people at faith, and when it came time for us to look for a new church home, it was kind of the only place that made any sense with all of the wonderful people that we already knew here. Yep, that's the story.
Jennifer Brandt 1:28
And you do something special at FBC. What is that?
Ben Green 1:31
I am on the biblical counseling team, and that's one of the things that really drew us here, is as I've gotten more involved with ACBC over past years and just got certified this last fall, and one day, perhaps Sarah will as well. We've both done a quite a bit of counseling of different people over the last few years.
Jennifer Brandt 1:51
That's awesome. And I just want to know a little bit about what you guys are doing in life right now. And you're a family of we have five kids. So I just want to know kind of what a day to day, week to week, looks like, as far as hobbies and commitments and church, ministry and all that stuff
Sarah Green 2:09
I can take on one one angle of that. I'm a stay at home mom and home school the kids. So our kids are currently 1714, 12, nine and five, I think I got all those, right. Um, so, yeah. So with those variety of ages, we're busy with lots of different things, music lessons and Co Op and, yeah, running start and lots of lots of busy things, but it's fun and good, and we're loving parenting these ages, our family schedule rotates a little bit because of Ben's work schedule.
Ben Green 2:49
Police Officer with the city worked there for our entire marriage, so a long time now, and I'm on a rotating schedule, which makes little little challenging. So I think overall, our life is school with the kids at this time of the year, my job and then we're always as active as we can be with the with church.
Jennifer Brandt 3:11
Yeah, that's awesome with having five kids. I imagine that it can be hard to squeeze extra things or spontaneous activities into the week, but hopefully we can get into maybe how you guys have been able to do that in your lives a little bit later. But first I want to ask how you guys would define hospitality.
Sarah Green 3:33
That's a tricky question. I mean, I guess when hospitality comes to mind, I think of having people in our home, and whether that's providing a meal or a place to stay or just a cup of tea, we love opportunities to get to know people and to be in relationship with people, and so I think of that really being the core part of hospitality is just really getting to know people and host them and hear where they're at and how we can encourage them. Did you add anything?
Ben Green 4:12
No, that's pretty good
Jennifer Brandt 4:16
as new members of the church. How have you seen hospitality in action at FBC.
Sarah Green 4:23
I mean, I think that's in part, one of the things that really drew us here was we had people reaching out to us and wanting to get to know us, and especially as a big family that is kind of rare, like we've really known that it's very intimidating for people to invite a family of seven over, and so we've always kind of taken initiative, but there were a lot of people from FBC who really showed initiative early on and pursued relationship with our family that was a huge blessing to us and really made us feel loved and helped our kids feel connected. And you know, we're still experiencing that with our growth. Group and and other people as we get to know people, and they are brave enough to have our whole crazy crew over, that's really, really fun.
Ben Green 5:09
We could also add too that we saw even in the couple of years leading up to our coming to FBC, as we got to know people, we had two different elders take us out to dinner before we even knew we were potentially looking for a new church home. We've got multiple friends here from that we've gotten to know over the years and seeing how hospitality exudes outwards through the lives of all the people we know at FBC, even before we got here, we've been encouraged since we started attending that that is the culture of this church. So when we needed a church home, it was just so encouraging to already look around and see the people we knew welcoming us before They or us knew that that was this might be our church home.
Jennifer Brandt 5:59
Yeah, when I started going to FBC, the week that we moved here, we didn't know anybody but people, from the moment we walked in the door, the greeters at the time, Ed and Joanne Calhoun, I don't know you guys met them yet, but they just invited us into their life and helped us move into our house with their whole growth group and so kind of similar story, like just immediately feeling that sense of like the members wanting to care for just new people coming in, and seeing how that was in the culture is just amazing. So yeah, that's really sweet. That as like, that was 10 years ago for me, but now within this last year for you guys joining the church, that you're still seeing that,
Ben Green 6:44
yeah, well, we've both been, grew up in the church, been blessed to come from Chris Christian homes, but I don't think I've been in a church that doesn't talk about hospitality, but there is such a culture here. FBC is blessed with the leadership who set that standard before, and I think we're seeing the benefits of that we certainly have, and are excited to be a part of it. Yeah.
Jennifer Brandt 7:12
Okay, so how do you guys engage in hospitality, especially as life just keeps changing and getting busy with kids, yeah?
Sarah Green 7:22
Well, our kids are very social, and so that helps, because they want to have people over. So that serves us well, because they're constantly saying, Oh, this family or that individual. I just had a conversation with a kid today who was like, Could we please have this family over? And I was like, Yeah, that's great. Let's add them to the list. And who would be a good family to have with them, you know, and kind of pairing up like, what kids would be fun together? We love to have a couple families over together. We think that's really fun. And bringing new friendships together is really fun for us. So going like, oh, that family might get along really well with this other family that could be fun to have together is fun. But, yeah, I think practically probably Ben and I are both very type A and so sometimes the things that we do are very silly or boring to people, but like, we have literally made lists of people. So like, when we're like, you're on our list, like, you may your name literally may be up on our whiteboard. And for us that's like, here are the people we want to get together with, whether it's new relationships we're trying to prioritize, or old friends that we're trying to stay in contact with. And we just know with our busy schedule because of family stuff and Ben's crazy work schedule, like our days are very limited, and so we want to be really intentional with that. And so Ben and I kind of work together to cultivate the list, and then he kind of leaves me the calendar to figure out, Where can we plug people in. And so sometimes that's planning really far in advance. I mean, we have something on our calendar now that's been there probably eight weeks that's coming up, like, more family, whoever I was, like, I'm sorry, this is like, the one day that we can have you over between your schedule and our schedule, but let's plan it out. We'll get it on the calendar. So, I mean, practically, that's kind of how we do it when life gets busy, is I
Ben Green 9:10
think we, some time ago, we identified that this is a value that's important to our family, and so that affects how we think about it too. We do make lists. We do use a calendar and schedule things out. Phase of life. We are busier now, so we do different things now, and maybe, and I know, not as often as when it was just us and two kids, but now we get to engage our kids in it. So we get to set that example for our kids, and that's still achieving the same overall goal, I think, for our family, while still getting to serve others. And as the kids move out, hopefully we'll get to have more people over. I think it's really, really important when we're both on the same page, that hospitality is important, that when Sarah does. Call me and say, Hey, how does this day work? I try to prioritize it, and if I'm a little tired, I'm still saying yes. So we have agreed that this is important, and we try to make it happen. If the other one sets something up, we will generally try to make it happen, even if it's not super convenient for us personally, that's about the only way you can make it happen when life's so busy and I don't regret it at all.
Sarah Green 10:27
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like even like growth group, small group stuff. I think you often don't feel like going, right, but then when you go and you're like, Oh, I was so blessed to be with those people and have that conversation and hospitality. I think is sometimes like that, like when the day comes and I'm like, Oh, I this is not a great day. What were we thinking three weeks ago when we put this on the calendar or whatever, but it's like when we're faithful to, like, go through with, like, Nope, we're just gonna make a simple meal and have these friends over and play a game or whatever. We do have good conversation. By the time they leave, you're like, Oh, I'm so glad that those people came over. That was such a blessing, even though we're tired, but the Lord knew we needed that encouragement of being with those people, and it's always a blessing. After the fact,
Ben Green 11:10
it's often around a meal, and we have a few. Sarah has a few stock meals that we have found our family really, really loves and are easy to make. And I've heard other people use this strategy as well. That way it's not quite as high of a bar to cross to still be able to have someone over. We're gonna like what we have, but it's not the fanciest food in the world, necessarily. Yeah, makes it easier.
Sarah Green 11:35
And one of our very favorite times to help with not only food, but also with like that exhaustion factor is Saturday breakfasts. I think if I was gonna pick any time to have people over, it'd be Saturday mornings, because I think you feel well rested, you're excited that it's the weekend, and there's just something I don't know, the food breakfast food just feels really easy to be like, we're just gonna throw some sausage and eggs out, and people can bring, like, a baked good or some fruit and make some pancakes, right? It's just really easy to throw a big breakfast together for people. And everyone is so excited on a Saturday morning to gather and see their friends. So that's probably my all time favorite way to have people over.
Ben Green 12:15
Since coming to FBC, we've used that several times to get to know other families well. So these are not necessarily best friends on Saturdays, but we'll have a couple different families over starting at 9am so no one's stressed out. The kids are already awake and yeah, I think that's my favorite right now, with my schedule, it's not happening a ton right now, but we enjoy that.
Jennifer Brandt 12:34
Yeah, I really like that. You guys are taking the initiative to welcome the people at your new church into your home, because I think it can be really easy to go to church and wait for other people to do that, yeah, for you, and that can be really discouraging if it's not happening. So I think it's just a good reminder that, like, maybe in an ideal world, that would be happening, but I'm encouraged that you guys are taking kind of a humble stance to say, I want to, I want to get involved, even if it's me, reaching out to the people who've been at our church for a long time. And I think that's a really awesome thing to do, and a good way to approach going to a new church and getting to know people?
Sarah Green 13:24
Yeah, well, it's not just the time that you get to spend together, but I do think there's something special when someone's been in your home, because they get to see a little bit more of you and what your family is like. And so I think that is something that is a hard thing to get to communicate to someone, unless they can actually come into your space. And so it's really special to have people to have people into your home so they can be like, Oh, this is a little bit of what the greens are like. You know, just being like how they live, I think is helpful to get to know people better.
Jennifer Brandt 13:51
Yeah, no, I was like, thinking just about how like, hospitality is always like you're you're giving something of yourself, hopefully to the benefit of another person, or just growing a relationship loving somebody, and it always requires sacrifice. So like you were saying, even in those moments and when you're like, this is hard to say yes to right now, I've prioritized it because I I want to be obedient and do this to love other people and get to know my brothers or my sisters, and whether that's sacrificing just your time or your energy or money, you know, when you have people for food and things like that like it's always our sacrifice, but it's it's worth it. And anyway, I'm encouraged by hearing you guys
Ben Green 14:41
live that out, and I mentioned it briefly earlier, but it's really good to have our kids be able to be a part of it and see it, and we don't just do it. We try to tell the kids why we're doing it, and we talk about that a lot with our kids. We're doing this because x, y, z, and we've seen. Our kids now become hospitable and gain some of these traits with their friends, which is really encouraging.
Jennifer Brandt 15:09
So does hospitality come more natural to one of you, or both of you?
Sarah Green 15:16
That's a good question. I think we were both raised in pretty hospitable homes, Christian families. My family always had, like, missionary families staying with us. We were a really big family, so I think my mom also knew, like, you've just got to have people in because they're too intimidated to have your whole family over for dinner. And so we always had lots of families in our home, and my mom set a really good example of saying, like, it's not having the perfectly curated put together home, it's just having a comfortable place where people can gather. And so she had lots of children, and so our house was never very clean or perfectly, you know, put together, but she would just be like, you know, as long as it's comfortable and cozy like that, actually will mean more to people than if it's perfectly decorated. So I'm really thankful for that. Example. I think I struggled the first several years of our marriage in just like, whenever we had people over, I, like, hyper cleaned everything, and it was like, you had to hyper clean the house and wipe the baseboards down and everything. And then when we moved into this house, which is much, much larger, and I suddenly couldn't clean it all, I think the Lord used that to humble me and be like, No, really. See, it's not that's you're not having people over to show off, like, that's not the point. That's not loving people that's gonna make them uncomfortable. And be like, Oh, my house doesn't look like this. This isn't that's not the point. So the Lord really used the change in my abilities because of pregnancy and some other things of just like being willing to just have people in when our house was not as nice and clean and put together as I wanted it to be, and just the the joy of the relationships that we've been blessed by as people have been more comfortable, has been really sweet so and I thank my mom for that, so I'm thankful for the example that my parents shed. And I think you're
Ben Green 17:14
both lean towards enjoying and have the gift of hospitality. But Sarah, more than me, her family just did an outstanding job. She comes up with a lot of the ideas, but I thoroughly enjoy it, getting to be a part of it. There is a cost to hospitality, but I think both of us find the value far outweighs the cost. So it comes naturally to some degree I do like what Sarah said, you don't have to be perfect, and that goes back to a little bit of the definition. What are we doing it for? If we're doing it to build relationships and even have someone completely new over, just to invest in them, in case that becomes a relationship that's more important than what the house looks like, or what how fancy the food is. I think we've both grown in that a lot, which takes a lot of pressure off, which makes you enjoy it more. Yeah.
Jennifer Brandt 18:15
Then who taught you the most about hospitality? Sarah kind of shared it was her mom. Were there people in your life before her?
Ben Green 18:26
I mean, how can it be anyone other than my parents? My dad was a pastor for many years as well. So there was a lot of that thinking about others that was kind of worked into our lives. And then I think some of the other people along the way that are common for so many of us. I had my youth leader just did an outstanding job as parents. We always want other people to have these influences in our kids as well, and she and her husband set an outstanding example of that for me in high school and even into my college, years after I was gone, hosted me back to their house after none of us even lived in the same state several times. So I think those other people along the way really set a good example.
Jennifer Brandt 19:20
So if you could tell us what the dish that you would like to share with the church is, how you make it, about how long it takes, and if there's any special, anything special about it that you'd like the church to know.
Sarah Green 19:34
Okay, well, the recipe I'm sharing is a cheeseburger soup recipe that we really like because it's easy to throw together quickly, but it always tastes yummy, and we always say our funny thing that we've learned about this recipe is it really does taste like cheeseburgers if you put on dill relish on the top right. So we always have it with dill relish, which is very fun, but it doesn't take long to make you. Just make it in one pot, which I find very helpful for hosting people, right? It keeps the dishes to a minimum and so, yeah, pretty standard soup recipe, and it's pretty allergy friendly too, which is really nice. It's easy to tweak some things in the recipe if you have people coming over who are gluten or dairy sensitive. So that's helpful as well. Perfect.
Jennifer Brandt 20:22
Well, I got to eat it tonight, and it was amazing. So thank you.
Sarah Green 20:27
Hospitality looks different in different seasons, and I think we've learned over time, right like, what works best for us in certain seasons. So like, right now we're loving Saturday breakfast, and that works really well for us, but there have been other seasons that we've done, like, just dessert and games. You know, it's like, I couldn't handle maybe making a meal for a crowd and that season, but we could do like, some brownies and ice cream and play games with people afterwards. Or there are times when we've just really capitalized on hospitality in the summer because of the house that we've lived in. And so it was like, well, we can host people outside, and so we'll just have a lot of people over during the summer and not as many people over during the winter or things like that, and also hosting like moms and kids and play dates like that. But I think there have been times where seasonally, it just looks different for what my capacity level is or what our kids can handle. And so yeah,
Ben Green 21:23
we had a stretch where, for a time, one of our best attended events was just come over, we're gonna make hot dogs, and that's it.
Sarah Green 21:33
You can bring chips if you want, Wednesday night or something. I don't know. There was a time it was like Wednesday nights hot dog, as
Ben Green 21:40
simple as it can be if anyone wants to come. And it was some of the best showings we ever had, which I think says a lot about how we all want relationship, and that's really more important than doing it fancy. So it can be a pretty low bar, which brings me back to I think as far as the production, I think the most important is get on the same page if you're married with your spouse, and just devote yourself to we're going to be hospitable, whatever it looks like. And over time, that becomes habit and you the rewards are so wonderful every time we have people over, but
Sarah Green 22:16
it takes intentionality and so be willing to make a plan. Because if you just say, like, oh, well, we'll get to that. And we've been in those seasons where we haven't been as intentional, and then it just doesn't happen, right? So it does take making a plan or putting something down on paper, or saying, like, on Saturday mornings once a month I'm going to have someone over and finding a time.
Ben Green 22:39
So I think we talk so much about or we read so much in Scripture about the community, we cannot live without other believers, and if it's just church, that's a piece of it. But I've yet to meet anyone who thought that was enough. It really comes down to building the relationships, and I think hospitality goes a long way in achieving that, whatever that's going to look like for us, that's how we obey, in serving one another, in loving one another, in practicing what God's put forward in the scriptures as the model for us.
Jennifer Brandt 23:15
Yeah, it would be a sad church if, if people only saw each other on a Sunday for a brief 15 minutes, maybe afterwards, and then that was it. There's something very like deep and personal that happens when you have people in your home and they they're invading your privacy in a good way, and you're really getting to know each other and see each other in different ways, and actually know what's going on in their lives and their hearts that you can only scratch the surface on if you're only seeing people on a Sunday morning. So yeah, I think that's really helpful and a good way of phrasing it. Ben and Sarah, thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate your desire to love God's people, and for keeping hospitality a priority with a busy family, and for doing it with a hunger to be obedient. If you haven't met Ben and Sarah or their kids, please find them and introduce yourself, and don't be surprised if, in no time, you find your way onto their list. Thank you all so much for listening until next time. Keep opening doors, welcoming strangers and showing the love of Christ in all you do. Thank you all
Jennifer is the Hospitality Highlight editor for Living Faith magazine. She and her husband Cory have been married since 2018 and serve together in Youth Ministry.
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