The Foyer at Faith Bible Church gets crowded every Sunday between 10:00 and 10:30 am. That is also the peak time for newcomers to come through the church doors, but Tom Dudenhofer can still spot them pretty easily.
“Just watch for anybody who stops and looks around” just inside the door, he says. The crowds of people, the laughter, the noise of conversation and excited children, the many doors, rooms, and hallways visible: It adds up to an overwhelming but still mostly positive experience for newcomers.
An elder at Faith for 14 years, Tom has been the point man at the Information Center for about six years, and he has seen an increase in the number of newcomers at Faith recently. He estimates there are 3-4 brand-new individuals or families every week. In his role, Tom wants to help people find what they’re looking for, and for most of them that is simple: “They’re looking for friends.”
As Faith seeks to fulfill the Great Commission and make disciples of Jesus, our lowest-hanging fruit are the people who come to our church on their own initiative. How can we overcome obstacles and awkwardness to welcome strangers?
Because Faith’s campus isn’t located on a major thoroughfare, people don’t usually come inside from mere curiosity. Tom says most visitors either heard about Faith from a friend or found the church online. They’ve sought Faith out, and they are eager to know more about us.
That’s one reason almost everyone responds favorably when Tom walks up to them and introduces himself. There’s no trick to it. He begins with, “I don’t believe I know you yet; my name is Tom,” hoping they’ll share their name too. It usually works better than “Are you new?” since occasionally the answer to that is, “No, we’ve been here a few years.”
The vast majority of visitors appreciate someone taking that first step, he says. As the Information Center guy, he goes a step further. Without being asked, he points out the restrooms and the auditorium, and he explains where they can get coffee. If they have kids, he leads them to Children’s Ministry staff who can help them with check-in for Sunday School.
“Most people are really hungry to connect, and don’t know how to do it.”
But you don’t even have to go that far to help welcome a visitor. Smiling and introducing yourself goes a long way. Tom understands some people feel awkward initiating a conversation with someone they don’t know, but he hopes all Faith members “carry enough sense of responsibility to be willing to say hi to somebody.”
Katelyn Gill and her husband, James, moved to Spokane earlier this year with their 1-year-old son, Benjamin. They searched online for a church that fit their beliefs, and Faith was first on that list. “We had just rolled in from Texas and were ready to start creating relationships since we had no family or friends in the area.”
They were grateful to find what they were looking for right away at Faith. “We were very overwhelmed by the kindness and hospitality of our initial visit and subsequent experiences,” Katelyn says.
As he scans the Foyer crowd for new faces, Tom sees natural “clumping” into groups as people connect with their friends and family. While it’s a good sign of our church’s affection for one another, it can also be an obstacle for a new person who may not be able to push through the crowd to find the auditorium.
As Pastor Dan Jarms has reminded us repeatedly, it’s better to form social “cups” than circles. We should open up our circle and be aware of those outside of it, ready to invite someone new into the “clump.” It might even be easier to engage with someone we don’t recognize if we have friends right there to help.
Inviting a new friend to visit your small group can prove to be easier for everyone than inviting them to your home or out to lunch (though there’s nothing wrong with doing those things). Tom says most visitors are already asking him how to get connected with groups.
The Gills say being invited to groups was the most helpful way for them to feel connected to the church. “Both my husband and I have gotten to know so many different amazing people and formed connections with many young families by simply going to events or meetings we were invited to.”
Tom says newcomers are usually open to visit the Growth Group that meets during second service. A group with a friendly, informal atmosphere can take some of the pressure off them. “Most people are really hungry to connect, and don’t know how to do it,” Tom says. “They want friends, they want somebody to hang out with. That’s their first step into relationships.”
Most visitors call Faith a friendly place, Tom says. They see how much we enjoy gathering and singing worship music that embraces both new and old songs without showiness. Some are relieved there’s no legalism regarding what people can wear to church or what types of music we sing. They can sense that people aren’t putting on a mask at church.
“I think, inherently, people who have any kind of a sensitivity to God know they need to be around Christians,” Tom says. He’s heard from such visitors that the church has a “good vibe.” Seeing people being genuine can make it easier for those people to come in and come back.
While churchy words like “mentorship” and “discipling” are useful in their place, Tom says we need to approach newcomers more informally. “Be a friend, because friendship is the very basis of how all of those other things happen.”
Katelyn says she and her family experienced genuine friendship right away. “Everyone seemed so vulnerable in sharing their experiences,” she says. “It feels like we have been a part of the Faith family for a long time.”
Welcoming newcomers doesn’t mean indiscriminately throwing the doors open. Along with the Safety and Hospitality teams, Tom is one of many people watching on Sundays for possible threats to the congregation. While the chances of violence are minuscule, vigilance is part of their ministry to both members and visitors.
That watchfulness is something visitors value very much, Tom says. When he points out the Safety Team members in the Foyer, people are glad to see such a team is on duty. The check-in system, background checks for volunteers and other safeguards used in Children’s Ministry are also worth even more than face value in assuring visiting parents that their children will be kept safe.
Another quality Tom says attracts newcomers to Faith is stability. The unity of the elders, commitment to expository preaching, and regular ministry activities are especially attractive to people who have experienced conflict or upheaval at another church.
Tom notes that Faith’s stability is the result of seeking to obey God’s Word rather than follow cultural or political trends:
“Every one of our programs is a steady response to doing what we think God wants us to do, to help people grow in their faith. …We preach the Word in an expository way. It creates a sense of rhythm. People know each week that they’re going to hear the Word.”
Ultimately, nothing we do saves people or grows our church: That is the work of the Holy Spirit. But we can be generous stewards of the blessing of our loving church family as we see others being drawn toward it. We can help people like the Gills find their spiritual family.
Jesus’ parable of the sheep and the goats says, “I was a stranger and you invited me in.” By welcoming strangers, we invite others into the same place we undeservedly enjoy in God’s family because of Jesus. “You are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God” (Ephesians 2:19).
Lynn and her husband, Doug, lead a Growth Group. Lynn serves as a writer and editor for Living Faith magazine and other church communications.
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