A church that follows Jesus Christ is the best place to experience loving relationships this side of heaven. That is because Jesus changes people through His own love for them. Jesus sets the best example of love. He gives us the greatest gift of love—being reconciled to God. He shows us the ideal in loving service. This all by one act of the cross. Early in the book of Acts (Acts 2:46) we see such a dynamic of love among God’s people that it caught many outsider’s attention. But being a loving community takes intentionality. We want our church to be a loving community. Loving communities have Christ-centered relationships. The most significant way you can love someone is to help him or her follow Christ. It is imperative then that we all join to create a loving culture in group/community life.
My next two entries are going to be about what it takes to be a loving community. Here are the first two of five marks of a loving community.
1. Daily Trusting Christ
Each individual must first be refreshed and strengthened in the love of God in Christ. Jesus said this,
John 15:6 “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing…John 15:9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love…John 15:12 This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” It must be part of the Christian’s routine to first look to Christ and his love and grace in order to properly love other people. (Gal 2:20), (1 John 4:10-11)
John Stott wrote, “The Cross is a blazing fire at which the flame of our love is kindled, but we have to get near enough for its sparks to fall on us.”
2. Transparent repentance from the heart
All of us battle a natural and deeply rooted self-love. Thanks be to God that Christians are new creatures in Christ and have the capacity to change. Becoming more like Christ is a life-long process. We must put off sin and put on righteousness. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires (Romans 13:14). We must model this for each other. It is for others progress that they see you make progress (2 Timothy 4:15).
Due to the deceitful nature of sin, we must surround ourselves with people who will actively challenge us and comfort us with the truth of Christ. “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:13)
Genuine repentance is a community project. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another. ( James 5:16)
Sadly, many people don’t experience a loving church because they don’t want to deal with sin. They expect that a loving community lets their sin slide. They expect others to be self-less and are shocked and disillusioned when selfishness appears. They can see the faults of others but cannot see their own. When a group of people gets used to openly and honestly dealing with sin without self-righteous indignation but rather with grace, then the possibility of a genuine loving community moves from bud to blossom.
Dr. Dan Jarms is teaching pastor and team leader at Faith Bible Church in Spokane Washington, as well as associate dean at TMS Spokane. He has been married for over 30 years to Linda, and has three adult children. He earned his B.A. in English at the Master’s College, B.Ed. at Eastern Washington University, M.Div and D.Min in Expository Preaching at The Master’s Seminary. His other interests include NCAA basketball, gardening, brick oven cooking.
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