Trusting God as He Sanctifies

“We got this.” That was how Krina and Toph Parkin went into the birth of their third child, Charlie. The births of James and Penny had been smooth. Apart from the mild concern about blood pressure that led to an early-term inducement, they had no reason to think this birth would be different.

But Charlie’s heart was slowing down as labor progressed, and as they brought her into an emergency Cesarean section, Krina could only pray, “Save Charlie, save Charlie, save Charlie.”

God answered her prayer. With Charlie’s successful birth, the Parkins were ready to see those fearful hours and good outcome as “their story.” Even when Charlie was taken to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) hours later because of low oxygen, they didn’t realize how often they would pray “save Charlie” in the years to come. 

“I have peace because I know God more through this trial.” Krina Parkin

The next day, they got the news that Charlie’s esophagus wasn’t attached to his stomach and he would undergo corrective surgery within days. Sleep deprived and traumatized, the Parkins struggled to process what they were facing: Was Charlie going to die?

It was March 2021, the middle of Covid lockdowns. Hospitals permitted no visitors. If they let their fears run away with them, they could easily feel alone and hopeless.

Krina was thankful for the encouraging videos and texts she received from Faith family, and for the class their Growth Group had just finished the night before: Quieting a Noisy Soul. For that class, she had to write a sermon to preach to herself, not knowing how much she would need it right away.

Her sermon read, “Is God saying, ‘Oops’? No, he upholds the universe by the word of His power. … He is in control. He loves me. He is wise. He will give me the grace I need.” While it didn’t take away the nausea and pain, God had indeed prepared the Parkins with the truth they needed to overcome their feelings and trust Him in those moments.

The surgery worked. Krina spent each day with Charlie in the NICU for a month afterward, while Toph stayed home with James and Penny. Toph remembers how on the drive to drop Krina off each day, they would listen to Lamentations 3 and recall that God’s mercies are new every morning.

“It was helpful to have Scripture songs playing constantly with the kids, just getting the Word into my head, in my heart, because to trust God you have to know God,” Toph says.

Bringing Charlie home was a great day, but it was also only the beginning of months and years of opportunity for fear and anxiety. Some babies who get the same surgery have only minor issues as they grow and develop, but Charlie had other overlapping problems: a chronic condition that causes swelling in his esophagus, and “floppy” airways that collapse easily.

That meant Charlie could quickly become unable to breathe, triggered by mild cold symptoms, saliva, or swallowing. His breathing was “really loud and wet,” and it took a trained ear to tell when he might be in trouble. They were “essentially on alert all the time,” Krina says, and it was exhausting.

An older mom at church encouraged Krina to pray so that she could get some sleep: God, wake me up if he needs me. Krina began to pray for that, and the Lord answered her. “God granted me sleep. I woke up when I needed to.”

They still went through multiple crises in which their trust was tested. Once when Charlie was about six months old, Krina had to perform CPR as he stopped breathing and appeared lifeless on their living room floor, just a few moments after accidentally aspirating a bit of food. Even though he was revived, she felt “like your best friend just did something you would never expect. I thought, ‘God, who are you?’”

The family became conditioned to expect regular emergency room visits and to miss out on social events because of the chance for exposure to viruses. The risk of asphyxiation is lessening as Charlie and his airways grow bigger, but they can’t assume he is out of the woods yet. Only a year and a half ago, when the family finally judged it would be safe enough to take a vacation in Arizona, Charlie had to go to the hospital the day they arrived and ended up staying five days.

In hindsight, after four years of constant vigilance and repeated crises, the Parkins see how God was allowing them to know Him more truly. Even as they believed James 1:2-3 that these hardships were God’s work to make them “perfect and complete,” they also were learning to lament and to wait quietly for Him.

For Krina, growing up at Faith meant she knew many Scripture passages and that she needed to “trust God.” This test revealed that “I was still kind of trusting in my own performance and my own adherence to whatever standard I was setting.” The Hebrews Bible study and the Quieting class had begun to change her thinking, but the journey with Charlie made it clear how anxious and controlling she had been because of her self-reliance.

She is thankful for being encouraged by the church body to look continually to God and His Word. Even when she felt exhausted and verging on despair, she had people who would listen with compassion but urge her to remember what is true and reliable.

Toph confesses this experience was his first major test in trusting God. “He humbled me drastically,” he says. “Sometimes He’s got to really break things down and
strip things away, which was not fun, enjoyable or pleasant by any means. But I know that God is faithful. I can look back at times in my life, in our life together, and see, ‘Oh, this is what came out of that.’” 

A professional musician, Toph is comforted by the image of God composing an intricately beautiful piece of music in their lives. “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs (orchestrates) his steps,” Proverbs 16:9 says.

“It’s not like, ‘Oh, I forgot the third horn part.’ God doesn’t say that. (He is) the most wonderful, complete orchestrator of our life, and all the events and the highs and the lows.” The difficult time was teaching Toph to depend on God’s ability and intention to make all circumstances to work together for their family’s ultimate good and His glory.

They are re-learning to rejoice and enjoy family life as Charlie continues to grow stronger. But Krina says that isn’t their true source of contentment. “I am not joyful and at peace and happy merely because Charlie is alive. … I have peace because I know God more through this trial.”

Lynn Yount

Lynn and her husband, Doug, lead a Growth Group. Lynn serves as a writer and editor for Living Faith magazine and other church communications.

View Resources by Lynn Yount