Trusting God as He Sanctifies

“We got this.” That was how Krina and Toph Parkin went into the birth of their third child, Charlie. The births of James and Penny had been smooth. Apart from the mild concern about blood pressure that led to an early-term inducement, they had no reason to think this birth would be different.

But Charlie’s heart was slowing down as labor progressed, and as they brought her into an emergency Cesarean section, Krina could only pray, “Save Charlie, save Charlie, save Charlie.”

God answered her prayer. With Charlie’s successful birth, the Parkins were ready to see those fearful hours and good outcome as “their story.” Even when Charlie was taken to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) hours later because of low oxygen, they didn’t realize how often they would pray “save Charlie” in the years to come. 

“I have peace because I know God more through this trial.” Krina Parkin

The next day, they got the news that Charlie’s esophagus wasn’t attached to his stomach and he would undergo corrective surgery within days. Sleep deprived and traumatized, the Parkins struggled to process what they were facing: Was Charlie going to die?

It was March 2021, the middle of Covid lockdowns. Hospitals permitted no visitors. If they let their fears run away with them, they could easily feel alone and hopeless.

Krina was thankful for the encouraging videos and texts she received from Faith family, and for the class their Growth Group had just finished the night before: Quieting a Noisy Soul. For that class, she had to write a sermon to preach to herself, not knowing how much she would need it right away.

Her sermon read, “Is God saying, ‘Oops’? No, he upholds the universe by the word of His power. … He is in control. He loves me. He is wise. He will give me the grace I need.” While it didn’t take away the nausea and pain, God had indeed prepared the Parkins with the truth they needed to overcome their feelings and trust Him in those moments.

The surgery worked. Krina spent each day with Charlie in the NICU for a month afterward, while Toph stayed home with James and Penny. Toph remembers how on the drive to drop Krina off each day, they would listen to Lamentations 3 and recall that God’s mercies are new every morning.

“It was helpful to have Scripture songs playing constantly with the kids, just getting the Word into my head, in my heart, because to trust God you have to know God,” Toph says.

Bringing Charlie home was a great day, but it was only the beginning of months and years of opportunity for fear and anxiety. His condition means he can quickly become unable to breathe, even from mild cold symptoms, saliva, or swallowing. The family became conditioned to expect regular emergency room visits and to miss out on social events because of the chance for exposure to viruses.

Once when Charlie was six months old, Krina had to perform CPR as he appeared lifeless on their living room floor. Even though he was revived, she felt “like your best
friend just did something you would never expect. I thought, ‘God, who are you?’”

In hindsight, after four years of constant vigilance and repeated crises, they see how God was allowing them to know Him more truly. Even as they believed James 1:2-3 that these hardships were God’s work to make them “perfect and complete,” they also were learning to lament and to wait quietly for Him.

For Krina, growing up at Faith meant she knew many Scripture passages and that she needed to “trust God.” This test revealed that “I was still kind of trusting in my
own performance and my own adherence to whatever standard I was setting.” The Hebrews Bible study and the Quieting class had begun to change her thinking, but the journey with Charlie made it clear how anxious and controlling she had been because of her self-reliance.

Toph confesses this experience was his first major test in trusting God. “He humbled me drastically,” he says. “Sometimes He’s got to really break things down and
strip things away, which was not fun, enjoyable or pleasant by any means. But I know that God is faithful. I can look back at times in my life, in our life together, and see, ‘Oh, this is what came out of that.’” 

They are re-learning to rejoice and enjoy family life as Charlie continues to grow stronger. But Krina says that isn’t their true source of contentment. “I am not joyful and at peace and happy because Charlie is alive. … I have peace because I know God more through this trial.”

Lynn Yount

Lynn and her husband, Doug, lead a Growth Group. Lynn serves as a writer and editor for Living Faith magazine and other church communications.

View Resources by Lynn Yount