Is it the size of his biceps or his truck tires? Is it how well he can use a gun or his tools? I believe the Bible teaches us that the answer is no! A real man, according to the Bible, is one who is a servant leader.
A man who is living out his God-given identity moves and acts to lead himself and others. This is not primarily an issue of personality or even giftedness. It is a matter of having a clear view of who God is and who we are supposed to be in relationship with God. A man should understand that his job in life is to please God, and we all please God as we become like Jesus Christ.
A man sees how he needs to move and change to become like Christ, and he takes action by engaging in Scripture, prayer and fellowship with others. He sees how others need to move and change to become like Christ, and he takes action to encourage and lead them to Christ. He puts off passivity and laziness and embraces his responsibilities in the home, the church and the community. He puts off selfishness and embraces serving others by putting their needs first.
Practically, this means he gets off the couch in the middle of the game or the show to take care of shepherding his kids instead of hoping his wife will do it. He pursues his wife, his kids and his friends so that he can protect them, provide for them and lead them. A real man does not hide his sin. He gets help from Christ by going to the Word and to others who will speak truth into his life and help him. A real man deals with sin in his own life first and leads others to deal with their sin as well.
Why am I saying that this is Biblical manhood? Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of a man living out his God-given identity. Mark 10:45 tells us that Jesus was the ultimate example of a servant leader as he gave his life to rescue us. Philippians 2:5-8 explains how Jesus put obeying the Father and meeting our needs above his own comfort and privilege. Ephesians 5:25-33commands men to copy how Jesus loved the church as we love our wives. 1 Timothy 3 explains how we should be like Jesus as we lead the church.
It is not up to someone else to do that important task in your life, your family, your church or your world. It is your job. Look to Christ, get strength and direction, and lead yourself and others. This is how you worship God and how you love others. Be a servant leader.