How Firm Are Your Foundations?

The Will of God applied to dating

Big Idea: Assertively apply biblical principles on friendship and marriage to DATING in order to establish a firm foundation for marriage.

An overview of the wisdom approach to dating:

• Be practicing biblical principles regarding FRIENDSHIP
• Be committed to biblical principles regarding MARRIAGE
• Be applying the “way of wisdom” to DATING

1. General friendship principles applied to your entire life

• John 15:12-17 - The biblical basis for friendship
• A true friend gives sacrificially for the welling being of others (being a friend, not just having a friend).

2. Intimate friendship principles in anticipation of marriage

I must understand God’s plan for marriage in order to motivate me to wisely choose the person with whom I can live in harmony for the rest of my life.

1. Be committed to God’s fundamental purpose of marriage.
   1. Genesis 2:18-25
   2. Oneness requires the complete identification of the husband and the wife to a union of life purpose, commitments, convictions, interests, and accomplishments.
2. Be committed to God’s directives for marriage.
   1. Ephesians 5:25-33
      1. The primary responsibility that God has assigned to a husband is to love his wife.
      2. Biblical submission of a wife to her husband is a recognition of the function God has assigned.

3. Special friendship process points to marriage

How should we behave during the relationship of “special friendship” (dating) in order to arrive at marriage with the maximum possibility of life long success?

1. Keep in perspective the fundamental purpose of God for and in marriage.
   1. The priority in a “special friendship” (dating) should be the development of spiritual and emotional intimacy.
2. What biblical convictions should guide your decisions and behavior in a “special friendship” (biblically focused dating)?
   1. Abstain completely from sexual immorality.
      1. 1 Thessalonians 4:3
   2. Maintain pure motives.
      1. 1 Corinthians 10:31
   3. Consider the control factor.
      1. 1 Corinthians 6:12
   4. Consider the seriousness of the consequences.
      1. 1 Corinthians 6:18
   5. Avoid the trap.
      1. Ephesians 5:3
   6. Commitment to not defraud the other person.
      1. 1 Thessalonians 4:6
3. How can a “special friendship” keep the focus on spiritual and emotional growth toward the eventual goal of total oneness?
   1. Time together in the Word and prayer
   2. Church activities together
   3. Serve together in church ministries
   4. Spend plenty of time with both families
   5. Do dates with other couples
   6. Discipline yourselves with the frequency of dates and length of virtual communication
   7. Invite older couples to hang out with you

Dave Belch

Dave and his wife Lois served on the mission field for 42 years in Venezuela and Tenerife, Spain. They are now retired, but can't help themselves from preaching the gospel everywhere they go.

View Resources by Dave Belch